As we mentioned in our previous post, it seems like men want some guidance on understanding women talk … so lets jump right in!

“We/You don’t have to celebrate my birthday/anniversary”: Ah, see – 90% of guys would say to themselves “Great! No party planning for me!” and then, they are unpleasantly surprised when their girlfriend is angry. Guys always say to me “But she said NO party!”

Ah, wait, she didn’t! Let me decipher it for you: she said you don’t have to – which means she is hoping you want to. There is a key difference – she doesn’t want planning a party for her to be a burden. Instead, she is hoping you love her enough so that it is a joy rather than something you have to do.

Now, trust me – I get it – the whole burden and wanting thing is all very confusing and unnecessary….either she wants a birthday party or she doesn’t!

Let me make it very clear. If she says “look, I really don’t want a party, I want to spend a day in”, that’s one thing. But if she says “oh, you don’t have to” then I suggest you follow that with “I know I don’t have to, but I want to because I love you. I would really like for you to give me some ideas, so I can plan a wonderful party for you. What about this (suggest idea)?” By following up, you can get a better feel of if she is really disinterested, or she just wants a little more attention.

In the end, girls want to know you care!

“Nothing is wrong”: Okay, I admit this one is tough, especially when you can tell she is clearly mad. Guys get upset with this one – “If she is upset, why doesn’t she just say so?!” Well, there are a couple of viable reasons, any of which are important enough that you don’t want her stewing in anger.

1. She is mad at you, and she expects you to figure out why: If you know why she is mad, you’d better just apologize now, because I promise this won’t get any better. If you don’t know, don’t get defensive – say something along the lines of “If I have upset you, I am sorry – can we talk about it?” Being open allows for communication.

2. She is not mad at you:If she wants to talk about it, then ask her – and be willing to give her your time and patience. Maybe something else in her life is bothering her and you need to give her your time, or maybe a little space. Either way, “nothing is wrong” are still words that require action on your part.

“Nothing is wrong” is a clear block of communication. The mistake guys make is accepting that they don’t have to do anything. Why? It shows a lack of interest which is a problem because…

In the end, girls want to know you care!

“I don’t have anything to wear”: This is an easy one, but it perplexes men who stare at the piles of clothing on a woman’s bed while she bemoans her lack of clothing options.

Sometimes, women are challenged in choosing their own clothes and they look at you rather confusedly saying “I’ll try on two outfits, you tell me which one looks best”.

Let me tell you the secret: It doesn’t matter which outfit you suggest – its why you suggest it! She will always say “oh you said that without thinking” so, when you say choose the first/second outfit, say why you want to her to wear it, even if there isn’t a particular preference for one or the other. DON’T say you like them both, otherwise you will put her back at square one.

So many of my guy friends say “geez, what difference does it make what I think? She looks beautiful either way!” Wonder why she wants you to tell her your preference?

In the end, girls want to know you care! (You have to be seeing a pattern here)!

Haha! Anything else guys need deciphered? Let us know, and we will add a Part III!

The Wonders of Womanhood

* This blog post DOES NOT reflect the views of all women or men, and should not be responded to as representative of all individuals of a particular gender. The Wonders of Womanhood are not responsible for deciphering or responding to your partner, as each individual case is different, and results can vary.

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